Depression Does Not Win

I struggle with depression. It has been a long time since I have dealt with an episode, but yesterday it decided to make an appearance. It’s like one day I'm having so much motivation, wanting to takeover the world to not having motivation to do anything at all.

It’s not that I want to rest, I just don’t desire to do anything. When I get in these moods, I don't even get stressed out. It's not until I am back to the motivated version of myself that I get stressed.

I can never describe the feeling depression brings, but is not a nice one. It is almost a feeling of emptiness. Now that I am a mom, I noticed my response was a little different then before.

Since I have had days like this before I knew what I needed to do and as Momma E I followed through with it. I did not let the depression win! I started typing a rough draft of how I felt and I finished the laundry. I took care of Bradley and myself; feeding us and playing. Then, I decided we would go for a walk. After the walk, Bradley and I returned to our normal routine and I went to bed early.

For me continuing my routine, eating right, and some form of exercise helps me fight the dark cloud. It was hard to get up and live my life, but I did it. I did it for me and I did it for Bradley. Find what you need to fight and you will conquer the day.

Today, I woke up for physical therapy and came home full of motivation. I vacuumed, mopped, and did some outside work all in the two and a half hours of Bradley napping. Now here I am typing this post in his playroom while he plays. I am partly typing this to get my thoughts “out on paper” and I am partly typing for that one person(s) who goes through this also so they know they are not alone.

There wasn’t anything that was different from yesterday to today. Depression doesn't schedule an appointment with you, it just forces it's way in randomly. I take medication for my anxiety and depression. It doesn’t cure it, but it helps me live with it. Even on medication I have my moments, but they are not as intense. Everyone deals with depression differently. If you are having trouble figuring out how to continue your days when you are going through it, I highly recommend you find a therapist or psychiatrist to figure out your next steps. I am always here for anyone who needs guidance or just to listen.

Much love,

E