Your Children Won’t Develop the Same

Before I had kids, I thought parenting was a formula. Feed them. Love them. Teach them. Repeat.

Then I had my first baby… and I quietly started building a mental checklist of what “normal” looked like.

• When they smiled.

• When they rolled over.

• When they crawled.

• When they talked.

• When they slept.

Without even realizing it, I created a timeline in my head. A little invisible chart of milestones that felt like the standard for how babies grow.

And then I had my second child. And that chart? It went out the window. Because no one really tells you this: Your children will not develop the same way. Not physically. Not emotionally. Not socially. Not academically. Not spiritually. And until you have that second (or third) child, you don’t fully grasp it.

The Comparison Trap No One Warns You About

With your first child, you compare them to the internet and other moms you are around. With your second child, you compare them to your first. And somehow, that feels even heavier.

“Why aren’t they doing this yet?”“Why did the first one sleep through the night sooner?”“Why is this one more cautious?”“Why does this one talk less?”

You start to wonder if you’re doing something wrong. You start questioning your parenting. You start trying to “fix” what was never broken.

Same Parents. Same Home. Completely Different Child.

They are raised in the same house on the same routines by the same parents, with the same love. And yet… They are completely different human beings.

Because they were never meant to be copies. They were created as originals. Psalm 139 tells us that each child is fearfully and wonderfully made. Not fearfully and wonderfully replicated. God did not design siblings to be mirrors of each other. He designed them to reveal different parts of His creativity.

One Child Teaches You How to Parent. The Next Child Teaches You How to Let Go.

Development Is Not a Race

We live in a world that treats childhood like a checklist. But children don’t read checklists.

They grow in their own time. Some are observers before they are talkers. Some are feelers before they are explorers. Some are cautious before they are confident.

The Freedom That Comes When You Finally See It

The moment you stop comparing your children to each other is the moment parenting becomes lighter. You stop asking, “Why aren’t they like their sibling?” And you start asking, “Who did God create this child to be?” And that question changes everything. Because now you’re not trying to shape them into a mold. You’re learning how to shepherd who they already are.

My Experience

Your children not only grow differently and have their own personalities, but they also have different likes and dislikes. Bradley is a LOVER, and he loves all hugs and kisses, whereas Olivia will let you know when she wants a hug.

With each child, it's like you are becoming a parent all over again. The bottles that Bradley liked, Olivia didn't. Bradley used a pacifier, but Olivia prefers her thumb. Bradley walked at 10 months, and Olivia walked at 9, but I know plenty of kiddos that didn't start walking until after 12 months.

Bradley had a great vocabulary at 18 months, but Olivia (now 18 months) only has 2 words. This is a great example of where my "mom worry" started to kick in. The thing is, she is very smart and knows how to communicate with us without words, but I worried there was an issue. I decided it's best not to freak out because EVERY child is beautifully different. Bradley has his strengths, and so does Olivia; they just look different.

If You Needed This Today

If you are worrying because one of your children isn’t doing something your other child did…

Take a breath. Nothing is wrong. They are not behind. They are becoming. And becoming takes time. Trust the process. Trust your child. And trust God who designed them exactly this way.

Please share this with a mom who may need to see this.